Dan S. has already given good advice on what to say at the AALS. (A partial dissent by Paul Horwitz posits that brilliance is overrated). The web already contains a plethora of good advice, from sources like Brian Leiter (here) and Gordon Smith (here). My goal in this post is more limited. I hope to strike the right amount of terror into candidates’ hearts as they contemplate the destructive force weilded by The Two Towers.
Since time immemorial, the meat market has been held in Middle Earth, a location dominated by two towers: The Wardman Tower, which is inhabited by Saruman the White, and the Park Tower, which is inhabited by the Dark Lord Sauron. The approximate walking time from the base of one tower to the base of another tower is four to six minutes. The approximate mad-dash time from one to the other is about three minutes. Rumors persist of particularly desprate and speedy candidates who have clocked in at under two minutes, but attempting such velocity is not recommended.
Given the geography, if you are a meat market candidate, you should bear in mind a few quick navigation tips regarding the two towers: