Cold Cash for Coldplay?

Dear Chris Martin,

First off, hello to Gwyneth and Apple; please give them my best.

Okay, let’s get down to business. I was just watching a clip of Alicia Keys performing Empire State of Mind on the Colbert Report (with Colbert filling in, rather ably, for Jay-Z) and I must say that the chorus of the new song sounds quite a lot like your 2002 hit The Scientist. In fact, if my ear is not mistaken, it’s even in the same key.

Now, I’m not suggesting that you sue her. I just want to throw out as a little reminder that George Harrison was docked $400,000 because My Sweet Lord (“Hare Krishna”) echoed the Chiffons’ single He’s So Fine (“Doo lang, doo lang, doo lang”) from seven years earlier. And separate juries found that the Bee Gees’ How Deep Is Your Love? was too indebted to Ronald Selle’s Let it End, and Morris Albert’s Feelings copied Louis Gaste’s Pour Toi. I could go on.

The point is, there’s some money here just sitting on the table and I say WE grab it. Settlement is the way to go (because those pesky appellate judges can overturn things, as Mr. Selle found out). The time to act is now. My fee is totally reasonable.

I mean, think about it this way: this is a golden opportunity to make up for that undisclosed settlement you had to pay out to guitarist Joe Satriani last September after he sued you because the title track from Viva La Vida sounds, well, quite a lot like his If I Could Fly (see here) . . .

Even-Steven. Am I right?

Your pal,


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