Starbucks, Meet Jennifer Aniston (Nude)

Dan S. has previously pondered the searches that land visitors to our fair blog. As he noted, Googlers in search of “Jennifer Aniston Nude” seem to arrive frequently to the cite. (What does a steamed up web traveler think, exactly when he – or she – beams on to Concurring Opinions? Where are the babes?)

It turns out that the search that sends the most Googlers to visit one of my entries is “Starbucks Secret Menu” – exactly the words in my post on the subject. The question is: why are they searching for this? Who are these conspiracy theorists, exactly, the ones who log on with the goal of learning more about what surely must exist: a secret menu at Starbucks? Are there other secrets in the menu? If you play the newest Starbucks “Joni Mitchell Chooses Her Favorite Bo Diddley Songs” CD backwards, will you hear her coo “turn me on, dead man?”

And how many of you will have to Google that last phrase just to decode my dated cultural reference?

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5 Responses

  1. John Armstrong says:

    It’s not that dated, surely. Who doesn’t know about burying Paul?

  2. Stuart says:

    So, where are the babes?

    Perusing the Fed. Cas. stacks, no doubt……

  3. Eh Nonymous says:

    Even I know about the Turn Me On, Dead Man line that wasn’t actually there. And I wasn’t even alive yet when Paul was killed in that car crash and replaced with the animatronic robot.

    Dan, you wrote “why are they searching for this? Who are these conspiracy theorists, exactly, the ones who log on with the goal of learning more about what surely must exist”… but didn’t you, uh, write a whole post about it? About what actually does exist?

    I like ordering off-menu. “Can you make that, but with chocolate, and hold the whipped topping?” “Substitute avocado for the cucumber?” (Not at the same place and time… but I’ve said or heard both phrases in the last two days)

    Special orders Rule. Except when they’re irritating to the waitstaff. “Can I have a burger platter… with no bun, extra cheese, no plate, and double ketchup? And substitute a milkshake for the french fries, only with no dairy, and could you make a side of just the carrots from the peas-and-carrots dish?”

  4. angie says:

    first of all- please don’t email me. Dan, you asked who these conspiracy theorists are- well I don’t know about the rest but this one is trying to put together a speech about how the phenomenon starbucks is changing the world. The conspiracy theory is not about a “secret menu” or why it’s become so popular (it just tastes good- shrug) it’s about the fact that at least for a moment it can enter places like the forbidden city in China- the fact that one country (ironically china) is buying out their stock and slowly trying to tske over the US- I really don’t spend that much time thinking up conspiracies- but SBUX is a big occurance that should peak anyone’s interest

  5. angie says:

    As far as research for the speech goes, I’ve heard more complaints about the conspiracy theories than about any theories that make the radar- I would like to hear some if you have a good one- before the due date if possible