Is Divorce Too Easy? Helping Marriages Survive Infidelity

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8 Responses

  1. Jens Müller says:

    In Germany, we only have no-fault divorces. The legal term is “Zerrüttungsprinzip”.

  2. A Reader says:

    This seems to be premised on taken for granted the statement that marriage is the foundation etc etc., which sounds like b.s. And the “cooling off” period is archaically patriarchal and offensive; I’d prefer to waiting periods lifted for all types of divorce rather than added to adultery-fault divorces. As someone who has never been aware of this distinction but to whom adultery is taboo, I just don’t see how this particular point would have contributed to the stigma. It definitely underscores it, but cheating is a taboo in many intimate relationships not just marriages.

    _Family_ may be the important foundation, and “the law” could certainly do leaps and bounds more to help support families regardless of the marital status of the parents. They make you wait to get married, wait to get divorced, wait to buy a house, but you can become a parent unregulated and with no support. Part of why divorce, especially no-fault divorce, is devastating to the children is that they are treated as pawns through the whole process. It’s more about the quality of parenting and support than it is about whether their parents sanctimoniously tried to work it out.

  3. David Bernstein says:

    How many couples who are getting divorced because of adultery actually get divorced on grounds of adultery, as opposed to just going through the no-fault process.

  4. A.J. Sutter says:

    I think some of the comments may be confusing the question of divorce as a de facto result of adultery with that of divorce on legal grounds of adultery. The former arises even in no-fault jurisdictions. Solangel’s point seems to be to suggest that in fault-based jurisdictions, a waiting period should be required when adultery is the stated legal ground for divorce.

    What I wonder is, then, since no-fault jurisdictions require waiting periods regardless of the de facto grounds, why shouldn’t other jurisdictions do the same, instead of singling out adultery? Just for the purpose of saying adultery is forgivable? But the post mentions studies that apprently show no-fault jurisdictions can achieve favorable results at reconciliation without such explicit signaling.

    Also, as entertaining as it might be to watch the debate, I doubt most politicians would want publicly to support the position that adultery is forgivable, even though some of them will need to make that argument sooner or later later in their personal life. A grounds-neutral waiting period would be easier to support, as “pro-marriage”.

  5. Lizzie says:

    I think once a couple has decided to divorce, it’s their move — the state, the government, whoever, should keep their noses out of it! Good grief. Now, I do think divorcing couples should be encouraged to keep things civil, particularly if children are involved. I could go encouragement for divorcing couples to use divorce mediation, such as outlined by Ora Schwartzberg in a book, “Divorced Mediation from the Inside Out,”which is billed as a “mindful approach to divorce.”

    It doesn’t really matter if it’s adultery or whatever. Divorce is divorce. Let’s use a process to make it less painful for everyone involved. Anyone with kids, particularly, should use the process attorney Schwartzberg describes in this book.

  6. Divorce says:

    One of the more difficult times in a relationship, particularly in marriage, is a major falling out. I have heard a lot of stories about relationships turning for the worse, seeking the legal remedy of divorce. Most of the stories are painful, even bordering on the violent. Surviving divorce is indeed a challenge.