Huffington: Goldman Buying Treasury Department
I don’t usually use this blog to direct traffic on the Web, but Andy Borowitz has a laugh-out-loud post over at Huffington.
Yesterday, Goldman reported extraordinarily high earnings, and promise of massive employee compensation. It recently repaid the billion dollar loans government made to it to help it weather the financial crisis.
This report was jarrringly juxtaposed with news of relentless increases in unemployment. In many parts of the country, it exceeds 20% when measured using realistic inputs like part-timers seeking full-time work. Official Labor Department statistics don’t capture that when reporting unemployment at the 10% level, still disturbing.
Here’s an excerpt from Andy’s piece, titled Goldman Sachs in Talks to Acquire Treasury Department, but check out the whole thing:
In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between Goldman and the Treasury Department is “a good fit” because “they’re in the business of printing money and so are we.”
The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for both entities: “We already have so many employees and so much money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things.”
Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the merger “is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we don’t already own.”
Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.
Hat Tip: Lynn Turner