W Presidential Library

The following letter is making rounds in philanthropic circles. Some hyperbole is evident. But, hey, times are tough.

Dear Fellow Constituent:

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:

1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, still under construction.

2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you forget everything.

3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.

4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.

5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.

6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, though no one has been able to find it.

7. The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.

8. The Tax Cut Room (only the super rich, if any are left, can enter this one).

9. The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.

10. The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, the stern librarians make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)

11. The Dick Cheney Room, in an undisclosed location, but complete with shooting gallery.

12. The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty, though full of promise.

13. The Supreme Gift Shop, where elections may be on sale.

14. The Airport Men’s Room, where some Senators have been observed hanging about.

15. The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins and straws.

The library will include many famous Quotes by George W. Bush, including the following:


1. ‘The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.’

2. ‘If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.’

3. ‘Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.’

4. ‘No senior citizen should ever have to choose betweenprescription drugs and medicine.’

5. ‘I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.’

6. ‘One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.’

7. ‘Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.’

8. ‘I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.’

9. ‘The future will be better tomorrow.’

10. ‘We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world..’

11. ‘One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.’ (during an education photo-op)

12. ‘Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.’

13. ‘We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.’

14. ‘It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.’

15. ‘I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.’…George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson

PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!

Sincerely,

Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair

G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors

Hat tip: Lynn Turner [as provided with slight modification]

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4 Responses

  1. Frank says:

    brilliant! Erich Origen’s and Gan Golan’s book “Good Night Bush” provides some nice visuals for imagining the Decider’s future monument.

    But the idea of a library is just too pointy-headedly intellectual for this man of the people…maybe a magazine room would be better.

  2. AYY says:

    I think it’s better to be fair than to try to be clever.

    Bush didn’t bring us Katrina, and the mess in dealing with its effects was mostly caused by the local Dems. Tax cuts were for the middle class. Saddam Hussein is no longer running Iraq, although I suppose we could have been more successful earlier had the Dems not voted to defund the troops. As for the economy, we have the Community Reinvestment Act and the Dems to thank for that. As for Guantanamo Bay, well yes there are quite a few who shouldn’t be let out. As for elections being on sale, are you sure you have the right party?

    Bush might have been a big spender, and you can criticize him for that, but then again, the Dems are hardly the ones to go to to reduce government spending.

  3. GiveMeABreak says:

    Must be nice living in that bubble, AYY. Quick question–did Bush do anything wrong? Or do you, like him, quizzically scrunch your forehead at the very mention of such a question?