The Joys of Credit Derivative Humor

I enjoy NPR’s Marketplace. At times, their efforts to be witty get a little cute, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one-act play on credit derivatives. Here’s a taste:

Seller: … have I got the product for you. It’s called a reverse sub-micro-standard mortgage shadow security and — do you hold a degree in rocket science?

Buyer: Nope.

Seller: Hmm. Well then, simply put, what we do is take semi-insured debts that’ve been sold to us from inelastic bubble markets, vertically resell, then unbundle the revenues according to Moody’s astro-logarithm.

Buyer: Astro …

Seller: Astro-logarithm, which gives a monetized valuation that has itself been subdivided into A-3 and G-minus pumpkin patch. You following?

Buyer: Not at all!

Seller: Great; me neither, really! This thing was invented by some eggheads we keep in a cave.

And so on. How can you not love a financial crisis that produces credit derivative humor?

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1 Response

  1. Rob says:

    Well then, simply put, what we do is take semi-insured debts that’ve been sold to us from inelastic bubble markets, vertically resell, then unbundle the revenues according to Moody’s astro-logarithm.