George Bush’s Virgin Brides
Purity rings are all the rage.
The wearer of a purity ring vows to remain a virgin until marriage—at which time the ring is replaced with a wedding ring. Church groups and organizations like True Love Waits promote these virginity pledges and reasonably priced purity rings are available for single or bulk internet purchase.
Though men are welcome to don the ring, women are the main target audience. Among the many women’s rings one popular vendor sells is the Miss Faith a pink ring billed as “perfect for the lady who is focusing on purity and holiness” and Your Precious Jewel (“Treasure your precious purity as you would treasure a jewel”).
In ancient times fathers jealously guarded their daughters’ virginity because virgin brides commanded a higher price. (They still do in some places.) Today, fathers buy purity rings for their daughters and bestow them in a chastity ceremony. One such lord of the rings, Jack McLemore, gave his thirteen year-old daughter, Carrie, a ring with two bright red sapphires. The sapphires were meant to represent Jack’s eyes watching always over Carrie’s virginity.
Mothers support daughters using their father’s retinas for contraception. Judi Hayes of California said of the purity ring husband Mike gave daughter Annabelle: “As a mother, I was very touched by this token of my husband’s love for our child. Mike was Annabelle’s protector, her hero, her first Prince Charming. That ring was a gift from a father’s heart designed to advocate his daughter’s modesty and virtue.”
George Bush is a strong supporter of virginity pledges and purity rings. Though the Administration has had trouble getting body armor to soldiers and medical supplies to hurricane victims, it funds the distribution of purity rings through millions of dollars in grants to evangelical organizations like Silver Ring Thing.
Special rings are available for “secondary virgins,” women who have had sex but who promise not to indulge again until marriage.
In ancient times, restoring one’s virginity was complicated. According to the medieval Hebrew Book of Women’s Love, in order to restore her lost virginity, a woman had to “take myrtle leaves and boil them well with water until only a third part remains; then, take nettles without prickles and boil them in this water until a third remains. She must wash her secret parts with this water in the morning and at bedtime, up to nine days.” If that was going to “take too long” a woman could “take nutmeg and grind it to a powder; put it in that place” and her virginity would be “restored immediately.”
Today, the prospective secondary virgin can get her grant from the federal government and purchase the Miss Grace ring for $19.95. The ring’s two bright white stones will make her “as white as snow” again.